Spend Some Time on Yourself

Published: 05th June 2009
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How much time have you spent learning to be happy and build strong, healthy relationships? I'm betting almost none. Society and pop culture teach us that we have to go out there and work our butts off to earn the money and stuff that will make people look up to us. We're supposed to believe that if we can just acquire enough material goods we'll be happy some day...maybe. I don't understand this way of thinking.

Let's take a look at the average day. 8 to 10 hours spent working and 6 to 8 hours sleeping. That leaves about eight hours, or a third of your weekdays, available for building the relationships in your world. Not rocket science, right? Do men get ANY training on how to function in our relationships? Not a bit! We reach adulthood knowing more about Chris Columbus than we do about having a happy, fulfilling relationship; let alone how to attract the women we desire. THIS IS NUTS!

Women expect us to know how to have a successful relationship. They think we should know what to do and how/when to do it. The unfortunate part is the only training that we do get it is from our dumb ass buddies who haven't been taught any more than we have. So our primary form of education around relationships and women is trial and error...and error...and more error. Doesn't that suck? Changing this sad state of affairs will require an investment of time on your part. I recommend you make an investment of your time to educate yourself on living your life better. Assuming you're awake for 16 to 18 hours a day, we would say you should spend just under a half an hour, at a minimum, every day investing in your own education.

Keep Reading! (We know you were thinking about blacking out.)

If you are thinking "there is no way I can spend a half an hour a day on education" you seriously need to reexamine your priorities. Think about it. First off, in America the average person spends 3 to 4 hours A NIGHT planted in front of the television. Second, most of us went to high school (12 years), then we either went to college, a tech school, or the military and spent four more years of our lives learning our trade. Then once we had our trade we spent a couple of more years trying to figure out how to be the best at what we do. Once again, simple math, we have spent anywhere from 14 to 22 years getting ready to do the job we are doing and zero on learning how develop and enjoy the relationships that we want. I rather doubt you spend your free time wishing you were at work more!!" Rather, most of us spend a lot of time wishing we were in a good relationship or wondering how we screwed up our last God knows how many relationships. How's that for lopsided? The interesting part of all of this is that we spent all this time and effort learning to accumulate money and toys so we could have the "happy life" that comes from having a special woman or women in our lives. Yet, once they're in front of us we either don't know how to approach them or, once we do, we can't keep them happy (so it seems). We don't have a clue what to do; particularly for the long run.

You have easy access to an enormous amount of information to help you along this path. However, the information won?t just fly into your brain. You have to invest time and effort to absorb the information and put it into practice.

Confidence comes from knowledge. Knowledge comes from education. That education can come from websites, books or seminars. As your education investment in yourself pays off, your confidence level will go up. This will lead to more opportunities in life, much better relationships with women and even your relationship with attracting women.

Having an understanding of what makes women tick could actually change the way you view yourself, your relationships, and your own excitement and curiosity about the women you are interested in. Your confidence and sex life will go up when you know and understand how to get the type of girl you want; you are in control of that destiny, educate yourself and be happy.


Phil Gilliam is the founder and president of AverageGuy, Inc. and a published author. His goal is to positively impact the lives of 1 million men through education and coaching. Visit AverageGuy.com to learn how to build strong, healthy relationships. When you join you'll get 6 hours of audio training to kick start your transformation into the confident, dynamic man you know you can be.

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