She Wants You to Ask Her Out

Published: 27th June 2009
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We have all heard it; "The really hot girls don't get asked out." "The good looking ones are alone on Saturday nights wishing they had a boyfriend to take them out." "They are just simply waiting and longing for you to ask her out." "If you just ask her, the hottest girl around will say "yes" in a fit of relief and gratitude."

You believe all that?

If this was the truth, why are there dozens and dozens of self-proclaimed gurus out there selling you their training material shortly after making that proclamation?

The fact is that the first paragraph in this article is a load of garbage! It is the image that the hot women are trying to create and all of the groups who sell magic feathers are trying to convince you that it's true.

I've interviewed many women and asked them about this and found out the truth. They do get approached often. There, we said it.

They get asked out often. There, we said that too.

If you are still reading this you are ready to find out why you should want to approach them more now then ever.

I personally have had more than my share of conversations with beautiful women about why they LIE about not getting approached. Through the interviews and personal conversations I have discovered the truths and will list the myths with the facts so that you will be in the know. Once you have read the whole list and the follow up I think you will be excited to know what you know and more willing than ever to approach!

1. Myth - As they're getting ready they check themselves out in the mirror and they just know they will get a lot of attention.

Fact - This is a true statement.

Discovery - This is one of the reasons the myth that they never get approached came to life......they only remember the ONE time when they thought they looked especially hot and no one outwardly paid any attention to them......ahhhh, poor baby.

2. Myth - They don't get approached.

Fact - This is an absolute myth.

Discovery - They get approached often, they get asked out often, but they tend to forget that these events occurred because the guys that approached them made so little of an impression that the women don't even put energy into recalling the event.

3. Myth - They want you to approach them.

Fact - This is the truth.

Discovery - None of the women I spoke to said they don't want men to approach them. What they said was they want guys to approach them with confidence and blah, blah, blah....the list goes on and on. The reality is that they are sick and tired of lame guys approaching them with tired old cliché material. We are not even talking about "lines." We are talking about the typical puppy dog, "please, Goddess, throw me a bone" guys that are not able to create an impression and are not confident enough in themselves to see her as an equal or maybe even present a little bit of a challenge for her.

4. Myth - When they are busy they want to be left alone.

Fact - True statement if you are wasting her time, a false statement if you are introducing her to the opportunity to embrace a much Better Deal than she currently has.

Discovery - They are just like you. If you were in the middle of doing something that you deemed important you would not want to be disturbed, right? Let's say you are running errands and need to get them done in time to get home and watch the game. If an interesting, attractive woman showed up and impressed you enough to bring you out of your routine and took a few minutes of your time to make an impression and get your number, would you be upset? Of course not! Neither would a woman in that situation. The people they want to leave them alone are the guys who are approaching her and making no impression and bringing nothing worthwhile to the table. In this case the only one that benefits is the uninspiring guy. Just like you, they want to be offered a genuinely Better Deal.

5. Myth - They want you to fail so they have a reason to reject you.

Facts - Hopefully you know this is a totally untrue statement.

Discovery - If you are approaching them and offering them a Better Deal than the one they are currently living, why would they want you to fail? Most of the women we have spoken to have fantasized repeatedly over the situation where they met the love of their life. There is only a very small population of women out there that believe they are superior to everyone and are heartless demons waiting to take revenge on men as a population. Funny enough, but quite honestly it is the same for them as for the rest of the world. They may be pissed at mankind and hurtful, but when a Better Deal is presented to them they will fall for the guy that presents it just like any woman would.

The truth is that women want you to succeed. They want you to be the guy that will sweep them off of their feet; they want you to bring them a Better Deal! Why wouldn't they? That they are looking for the guy who is capable of presenting a Better Deal and, even more importantly, having the ability to live up to the promise; not just in the moment, or until she agrees to go out with you, or until she sleeps with you, but potentially for the rest of her life!

If you don't approach her, none of the possibilities of fulfilling her fantasy to fall in love with "Mr. Right" can ever come true. If you don't approach her, you can't become her Mr. Right. She will be forced to wait for another guy to fill the role.

Now that you know she does get approached, she does get asked out, and most importantly, she does want you to succeed, we are hoping that you understand that she does want you to approach her and bring the opportunity for her to experience a much Better Deal than the one she is living.


Phil Gilliam is the founder and president of AverageGuy, Inc. and a published author. His goal is to improve the lives of 1 million men through education and coaching. Visit to learn how to approach women with confidence and style.

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